Dealing With Family Conflicts During the Holidays

Many Christians experience struggles and conflicts with family members during the holidays. Dr. Russell Moore has posted an excellent article on dealing with these challenges, “A Word About Family Tensions And the Holidays. http://www.russellmoore.com/2009/12/20/a-word-about-family-tensions-and-the-holidays

A Daily Devotion To Consider for 2010

Sometime in December many people begin to consider a daily devotional reading book for the upcoming year. If you have not already selected a devotional for 2010 let me make a suggestion to you. The Christian in Complete Armour: Daily Readings in Spiritual Warfare by William Gurnall.

William Gurnall was an English Puritan pastor and preacher from the 1600s. He wrote a large 3 volume work The Christian in Complete Armour on the subject of Spiritual Warfare. Gurnall's work is biblically rich and very pastoral, his applications of biblical truth to everyday life give evidence that the Puritans really did understand God and Christianity better than most of us today.

James Bell took Gurnall's great work and edited it into 365 daily readings and "translated" the 17th century English into modern vernacular. Bell not only maintained Gurnall's rich and vivid word pictures, but also maintained the beauty of puritan writing while making it more understandable for the modern reader.

Make no mistake, this is not a emotion driven, self centered work on spiritual warfare like many modern writings. Gurnall's work on Spiritual Warfare is filled with biblical truth and is focused on God. The reader will see not only the daily struggle but also the biblical message of addressing this struggle against our enemy, Satan. Here is an excerpt from today December 1 reading:
Hold On To The Power Of God
Another way to let God rescue you from despair is to remember how often He has proved your unbelief to be a false prophet. Has He not knocked at your door with inward comfort and outward deliverance after you had already put out the candle of hope and given up looking for Him? . . . Why then are you frightened again and again by your distrustful thoughts, which God has so often proved liars? Stop feeding your hopes on the corpses of slain fears! . . . David raises every saint's troubled hope: "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord" (Psa 31:24).

Gurnall fills each daily reading with these same vivid word pictures and biblical truth to encourage the reader in our daily struggle against sin and the attacks of the evil one. The Christian in Complete Armour:Daily Readings in Spiritual Warfare is well worth the price of owning it and the time to read it every day. The Christan in Complete Armour is published in the US by Moody Press and is available from Amazon.com here.

Trust and Evangelism

“Most people are reluctant to trust a complete stranger” William Gurnall, 1655. What a profound reality! We evangelize as if we expect people who have never met or heard of us before to trust in a Savior they have never heard of before. Then we are discouraged and disappointed when they don’t confess Christ the first time they hear of this stranger and met us for the first time. We should expect relationships to be established, and people to hear of Christ and the gospel two, three maybe four times before they know Christ and us well enough to trust in Him.

In parallel is Christ knowing us. Can Christ call us His own and one of his Sheep if we are a stranger to him? No, He cannot. The gospel tells us that while we don’t know Him, He knows us. He knew us before the world was formed, He knew us before we were born, He decided to make us one of His own before we entered our mothers womb. Therefore, when we are first introduced to Christ and met Him as a stranger, He has already known us and meets us with intimate knowledge of us. We see Him as a stranger, but he sees us as someone he has known since eternity.

"Even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world." Eph 1:4a

Why I Will Not Graduate in December

As some of you know our whole family has been on a fast and intense track for me to graduate this December, a semester ahead. The reasons were both financial and practical. In the Fall of 08 we knew financially we could not stay at Southern through May of 10 when I was scheduled to graduate. We looked at leaving in May of 09 and starting in a church somewhere and just finishing my course work as I could. Then some opportunities presented themselves in the late fall/early winter that I could “fast track” and finish in December of 09. It would mean taking out a loan to make it through the rest of 2009 with school and living expenses but I would be done. So trusting it was the Lord’s will we set our course to go all out for Dec graduation.

This fast track took some intense and sacrificial efforts on the part of all of us not just myself. It took the form of my Study trips to Israel in January and England this summer. These two items were especially sacrificial for Amy & the children as well as financially. The plan for graduation in December hinged on my taking 5 classes (15 hours) this fall semester after the intense load of the summer study tour (3 classes, 9 hours).

As I began this semester I was already running the summer and fall classes into each other. At the same time I am serving as the only deacon/elder at our church here in Louisville as we have a new pastor and transition with many new members and revitalizing the church after several years of decline. And yes there is that little other responsibility of husband and father. Amy’s parents moved in with us at the beginning of August because of health issues and being unable to stay alone any longer, this has been a blessing but also added some extra efforts and adjustments for everyone, especially them. Amy parents would like to settle permanently in an assisted living facility close to us. Graduation in December took on an added sense of need and urgency. As I have told some of my friends in discussing my decisions, “We really did bet the farm on graduation in December.”

Due to all of the above, I began to cut corners in every area, class work, church leadership duties, and being a patient, instructive father at home with four children at formative and critical stages in their development. Not to mention making communication with all of you reading this nonexistent in the last 12 months. I started greatly abbreviating my morning bible/devotional reading and personal prayer time. I was short cutting and short circuiting my learning and training to be prepared as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ so I could get a degree and walk across the stage in December. This alone should have been enough to warn me something was wrong, but it wasn’t, I was too focused on the goal. At home I was skipping and not participating in important family activities nor taking the time to teach Grace, Ferris, Daniel, and Joshua intentionally and in life experiences they encountered, still I didn’t see the warning I was locked in on my diploma. At church I was doing less and less teaching and interaction with church members because it took too much time. I completely missed this warning sign; I was committed to wearing the graduate robe in December. Over last weekend one of our attendees at church and the sister of a dear sister in Christ at our church suddenly became ill and went into a coma unexplainably. I was the church leader most appropriate to go to the hospital for numerous reasons, but I didn’t have time to waste on someone in a coma, I had to read church history and spiritual warfare, I needed the accomplishment of a December graduation. On Monday of this past week it all started to crash in around me and I was falling victim to my own sinfulness and vanity.

I had made the mistake of turning my world upside down. I had made the by-product of preparation for ministry, a degree and graduation, as the top priority. At the same time I had placed my real purpose and calling, to be a minster to God’s people, on the bottom of the pile. I had traded the gold and silver of my calling and purpose for the tinsel and glitter of this world. I finally awoke from my stupor to see what I was doing, ignoring the person in a coma, snipping and snapping at the children if any little thing went wrong or disturbed my thinking. Just trying to get by in class instead of really applying and understanding how the knowledge I was being exposed to should inform and direct my current and future role as a pastor.

I started asking myself, “What price is graduation in December worth?” a difficult question to answer as we had bet the farm on it and already sacrificed so much to get right on the edge of my grasping it. I began asking some wise and discerning brothers who know me well here in Louisville what choice I should make at this moment. I put a hold on my assignments and went to the hospital (the coma patient had just awoke during the night before I got there Thursday morning), made plans to start teaching biblical parenting at church this weekend and took time out of my Friday morning schedule to participate in family bible reading and teaching time. To my surprise I found those activities much more fulfilling and rewarding than my class work! (Only folks who really here me talk about my seminary classes can understand why that is a big deal.)

Friday was a time of serious and very thoughtful meditation about what to do next, because the deadline for dropping classes is Monday afternoon. From all I have written above the decision is very simple, but the consequences and ramifications to the family and our personal life required serious careful thinking before pulling the trigger. Personal prayer time and conversation with several brothers who could give me perspective was necessary to make this big decision.

The conclusion to this sad story is that I am going to drop one of my classes, one with a large volume of work, and relinquish my idol of graduating in December. I will attempt to take this one class in January and then have completed my requirements for the degree. For the remainder of this fall, I will complete the classes I have and fulfill my calling as God has given it to me at this time in our church here in Louisville. We are also in the process of looking for a church for me to begin pastoring in January, either as a staff pastor or the senior pastor of a smaller church. No small endeavor and one which from my perspective takes an act of God to bring to fruition, so please pray earnestly for this item if nothing else. Thank you for your continued prayers.

In the end the short answer to why I will not graduate in December is this, the price was just too high and I wasn’t willing t pay it.

se pray earnestly for this itmehis itme if nothing else. an act of God to bring to fruition.

od has given it to me at this time

Post Script

After writing the above explanation, I did one of my assignments, which was to read the beginning of the book of Job. After reading Job lost his livestock, his servants and lastly his children to death, I was stunned to see these words, “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped.” (Job 1:20) What?!!! Job began the grieving process by worshiping!! Worshiping God because you whole life has just been ripped out of your body?!! This idea isn’t just counter cultural it is counter human! Nonetheless, we are given this principle in Scripture. No matter the grief, not the source of our grief, we are instructed to come worship God first.

I do not know what the outcome will be over the next three to six months by not graduating in December as planned and sacrificed for. I am truly disheartened at the loss of this goal and the emotional set-back it is. After reading Job all I can say, my only response is this, “I put my hand over my mouth. ‘Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, I cannot attain it’ (Psa 139:6). ‘The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job 1:21b).”

Are You Ready to Live As A Christian?

One of the dangers of our modern practice of Christianity in America is to be superficial with our Christianity, specifically our discussion of issues within Christianity. We tend to treat current issues or modern problems as abstract items with little or no relevance to how we actually live. Those of us in seminary are particularly prone to this error, to discuss events and ideas in an abstract way instead of looking at them and thinking through them as events or ideas that affect real people. Ultimately our discussions and learning of any subject within a Christian way of thinking is so that we may go out to those who are without Christ and show how God sees them and what God wants us to tell them about Him and themselves.

One example of the right way to think about issues in a concrete and real way is Dr. Russell Moore’s Christian Ethics final exam question. It deals with a woman who begins coming to your church and is ready to follow Christ, however she used to be a man. To read the full question (which you should do first) go to Dr. Moore’s website. You can read the question at: http://www.russellmoore.com/2009/05/04/christian-ethics-this-years-dilemma/

Today Dr. Moore posted the first of his five part answer to this challenging question. You need to read the answers as much as you need to read the question for a challenge to your beliefs in God, the Bible and living life as a follower of Christ. You can read the first part at: http://www.russellmoore.com/2009/05/25/joan-or-john-my-answer-part-one/

Just in case you think this is a far fetched and ridiculous idea, read the comments posted at Dr. Moore’s website under the question itself. You may be surprised to learn this might just happen at your church.

Training Your Child in God's Truths

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 tells us to train our children in the truths and commands of God. “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (ESV)

Outside of reading the scriptures or using a children’s Bible, how do you teach your children about God? One way is to use children’s resources for teaching them sound theology. Yes it is important to teach our children the truths and doctrines of the faith. One new resource I highly recommend is Dr. Bruce Ware’s new book, Big Truths for Young Hearts by Crossway Books $15.99. It can be purchased here.

Big Truths for Young Hearts is a systematic theology book for children. Dr. Ware spent many years developing this resource. As one of the great theologians of our time and a professor of theology at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary the depth and breadth of Bruce Ware’s rich biblical insight and understanding of God are immense, I can attest to that. However, Bruce ware is also a father and now a grandfather. He taught his daughters the truths of God and his word when they were very young. He has made the benefits of that work available to us as parents through Big Truths for Young Hearts.

It is designed for parents to read to their children. Each chapter is written in a style and form that allows for reading it less than 10 minutes. Each chapter has suggested questions to help the parent ensure that the important ideas of the reading have been understood by the listener. You will be surprised how much you learn reading this to your children.

If you wish to fulfill the command of Deut 6, and would like some help accomplishing it, then buy a copy of Big Truths for Young Hearts and begin reading it to your children.

Breakfast with Might Men of Valor

"They helped David against the band of raiders, for they were all mighty men of valor and were commanders in the army” (1 Chron 12:21).

I just returned from having breakfast with three good friends, John Regan, Ari Carr and Kent Patterson. We discussed the recent trip that Kent and I made to Israel and the things God taught us. We also talked at length about the struggles each of us are facing personally and “professionally” in living the lives and ministries God has called us to. We talked about the battle of warring with the forces of Satan in this world as we seek to advance God’s kingdom among his people. We spent a large part of the time talking about the war that we battle within ourselves as we seek to be Christ’s obedient servants and sons of the King, specifically the temptation to forget who we are and what we have been tasked to do for our God. Our motto has become, “How should the son of the King respond?”

As adopted sons (Rom 8:14 & Eph 1:5), we are the sons of the King. We have a father who is personal, our father, and who is also the King of all creation. We have the duty and privilege to fulfill the role our father has given us, one that is carried out in enemy occupied territory. This part of being in enemy occupied territory is what makes the carrying out of our role a battle.

It is easy to forget that we are the sons of the King and our father will not abandon us in the carrying out of our mission. The temptation is to forget who we are and react like banished sons who have to watch out for ourselves and take care of number one. If we give in to this attitude we will give the enemy the victory he seeks.

In the course of this struggle it is good to have mighty men of valor as brothers who will fight with you and for you, both metaphorically and literally. Kent, Ari, John and I are these kind of brothers. Perhaps I am over dramatizing and romanticizing the struggle of the Christian, but even if I am, the truth remains that this life and obedience to God in any area requires those whom God sends into your life to walk and aid you in life. When victory occurs, whether in this life or the next, the joy and sense of fulfillment will be sweetest among those who struggled together.

“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; . . . And gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us.” King Henry V in Shakespeare’s King Henry V